


Five Anonmeme Threads About Carlos

by ErinPtah



Series: Republic of Heaven Community Radio [3]
Category: Fail_Fandomanon RPF, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Community: fail_fandomanon, Daemons, Double Drabble, Drabble, Gen, International Fanworks Day 2015, POV Outsider, Religious Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinPtah/pseuds/ErinPtah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is so self-indulgent and I regret nothing.</p><p>For International Fanworks Day 2015: excerpts from fail_fandomanon, as it exists in the "Welcome to Night Vale happens in Lyra's world, in the future of the His Dark Materials multiverse" AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon

**Author's Note:**

> Short version of the backstory: It's 120 years after the end of The Amber Spyglass. The Magisterium still has a lot of social control over Lyra's world (the fact that there is, canonically, no God hasn't stopped them). Carlos the Experimental Theologian becomes (in)famous worldwide when an Erika follows him on a trip outside Night Vale: he gets caught on film having a friendly chat with an angel, and uses the credibility to make a public declaration that the Church is wrong about everything. (And then flees back to Night Vale and adopts a strict policy of never, ever googling himself.)
> 
> The nonnies and sunnies featured herein are used in a fictional context, and any resemblance to actual things they have said is purely coincidental.

### Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon

(Anonymous)

Go!

 

> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> Your mom.
> 
>  
> 
> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> Carlos Ramirez, hands down.
> 
> My family is scary religious, so I think they would disown me if they even found out I'd been listening to him, haha.
> 
> But, nonnies, he is So. Hot. How is he still single? The mind boggles.
> 
>  
>
>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> In b4 "hit that like the fist of an angry god" jokes.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> OMG YES
>> 
>> I would pay cash money to run my hands through that man's hair for five minutes :o
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon MODS
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> I think this belongs in the personal post.
>> 
>>  
>>
>>>   
> 
>>> 
>>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon MODS
>>> 
>>> [ ](http://sunnymodffa.dreamwidth.org/profile) [ **sunnymodffa** ](http://sunnymodffa.dreamwidth.org/)
>>> 
>>> Mods are watching the thread, but as long as it avoids the topic of whether Ramirez is right about angels and stays in the realm of whether Ramirez has the world's most luscious hair, it can stay.
>>> 
>>>  
>> 
>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> _How is he still single?_
>> 
>> gay tbh
>> 
>>  
>>
>>> ### Re: Crushes you wouldn't admit unanon
>>> 
>>> (Anonymous)
>>> 
>>> NA
>>> 
>>> We use capitals here. Go back to hms_anon.


	2. Need Advice please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) This AU's Carlos has a [15-year-old niece](http://erinptah.deviantart.com/art/Cecil-Meets-the-Family-1-487257610)  
> (2) [HDM's North America](http://erinptah.deviantart.com/art/His-Dark-Materials-North-America-Map-399091100) has AU political divisions, including an independent Republic of Texas

### Need Advice please

(Anonymous)

I just found rps about my uncle!!

And like. He's sorta famous (he's come up on ffa before) and sorta hot so maybe it was inevitable?

but he's irl gay! And I think only family knows?? He lives in a country where it's technically legal, but they can still deny you housing and restaurant service and stuff -- and if someone digs it up b/c of the fic, the media will make his life hell -- what do I do??

 

> ### Re: Need Advice please
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> Nonny, I promise, your uncle is not in danger from RPF. Nobody has ever been blacklisted solely on the basis of gay Internet fiction (and raising a stink about it would only draw attention to it--the safest strategy is to act like it's not a threat). If he's been smart enough and discreet enough to avoid getting found out in general, there's no reason he can't stay that way.
> 
> I know this can be scary. Hugs if you want them <3
> 
>  
> 
> ### Re: Need Advice please
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> I really want to know who this is now.
> 
>  
>
>> ### Re: Need Advice please
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> Congratulations, you are being That Much of an asshole.
>> 
>> /Texas anon


	3. Re: Stupid things you've seen on Tumblr lately

### Re: Stupid things you've seen on Tumblr lately

(Anonymous)

_ummmmmm literally everybody?? no one has not screwed up at some point in their lives? this is not a repression of ur free speech??? nobody can stop u from liking whatever u want to like, but at some point u have to face up to the fact that? everyone is problematic? even ur faves?? so stop making excuses for them?? just sTOP_

is your shift key?? broken????

> ### Re: Stupid things you've seen on Tumblr lately
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> "everyone is problematic? even ur faves??"
> 
> Excuse you, my fave is literally endorsed by angels.  
> 


	4. Re: Celebrity sightings

### Re: Celebrity sightings

(Anonymous)

OP

Because I have been *dying* to tell someone how I just served coffee to Serafina Pekkala.

(I work a few blocks from the consul in a far-northern city, so it's not uncommon to see some witches around. This is still a personal best, fame-wise.)

> ### Re: Celebrity sightings
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> Mother of god, anon. Was Kaisa with her? _What did she order?_ Inquiring minds need to know!  
> 

  


### Re: Celebrity sightings

(Anonymous)

My roommate swears he was Carlos Ramirez's first gay experience.

I know, thattotallyhappened.txt, but he's never tried to sell it to the tabloids. And I can verify that he has a thing for shy, hot, old-enough-to-be-his-dad professor types. If Ramirez was ever really in the same bar as him, he definitely would've tried to hit that.

> ### Re: Celebrity sightings
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> How young is your roommate? Ramirez is only 36.
>
>> ### Re: Celebrity sightings
>> 
>> (Anonymous)
>> 
>> DA
>> 
>> I honestly thought he was late-40s until I looked it up just now.
>> 
>> It's the gray hair. And the chosen-by-angels thing (if you believe the chosen-by-angels thing.)
>>
>>> ### Re: Celebrity sightings
>>> 
>>> (Anonymous)
>>> 
>>> Well, Jesus (if you believe the Jesus thing) was only 33...
>>>
>>>> ### Re: Celebrity sightings
>>>> 
>>>> (Anonymous)
>>>> 
>>>> And Lyra Belacqua was 12!  
> 


	5. Daemons: What did you want to settle as?

### Daemons: What did you want to settle as?

(Anonymous)

And how did that go? (If you haven't settled yet, you're probably too young to be on meme.)

OP wanted to settle as a rocketship. Spoiler alert: it didn't work out.

> ### Re: Daemons: What did you want to settle as?
> 
> (Anonymous)
> 
> We were one of those totally-cliche Lyra Belacqua fangirls who wanted to study alethiometers and settle as a pine marten.
> 
> Ended up studying geomorphology and settling as an armadillo. But these days we're mostly fangirling an experimental theologian who's also an armadillo, so it half worked out after all :D


End file.
